www.paulnixon.org

www.aloud(ofcrap).com

Anyone trying to book tickets for Glastonbury would surely agree.

Unfortunately there's no alternative. But next time there is I won't forget.

And a lot of this is self-inflicted in my view. For a start they are using plain old asp technology. Not a good start.

They are also using old-fashioned layout techniques that, I estimate, double the bandwidth required for the same content.

And they are using images where coloured text would have clearly sufficed.

Fan Fury!!

What an effin nightmare getting tickets?!

We finally managed to secure ours. Only then by being given a 'secret' website.

"We couldn't have predicted this demand," an Aloud spokeswoman told BBC News Online. Well, pardon me madam, but you're an idiot. They sold out in 24 hours last year. I wonder if she will have the brass to say the same next year.

Now let's pray for clement weather!

On the efficacy of Low Carb diets

For the last month I have been carrying out a scientific experiment evaluating my variant of the Atkins Diet. An executive summary follows

Good things

- A total of 20 lbs weight lost (from 14st10 to 13st4)

- Eliminated 'addition' to food

- Reduction in appetite

- Feel very well

- Elimination of processed foods. Instead lots of fish, lean meat, eggs, olive oil and vegetables.

- No hunger experienced

Bad things

- Some limited trouble 'going'

- Cabbage breath in the morning

- A strange addition to Blue Extra chewing gum formed

- Too much diet coke drunk

- A bit of a lack of variety

- It's expensive eating 'good' food

Band-tastic

Xfm Live Sessions. And lots of them. Wicked.

Our new house!!

Well, offer made and accepted at least. Wow.

Chortle

"The UK Comedy Guide". Or so it says.

Looks promising I think.

Ricky Gervais Politics

Anyone else got tickets for his Politics show?

It's a bit sh1te according to this fella.

I've heard the w*nking story and the Thora Hird stuff recently from the great man.

I quote "The bar staff were laughing after the show because he ran straight from the stage into the back of his car. Nothing to do with the fact that there were a big group of lads in the stalls who weren't happy...they were quite vocal after the show too..."

Duty Free

How did this fantastic sitcom only make position 71 in the recent BBC's Best?

I distinctly remember my brother adoring this program which is more amusing now than the actual comedy was then.

Duty Free II

I can't believe it.

You can get the whole lot; series 1, 2 and 3 and (I find this hard to believe) a Christmas 'special'.

The Sun Letters

Ah, if only the Sun put their daily letters on the same page every day. They are so good it's hard not to believe they are actually a deliberate spoof appealing to more intelligent readers.

The banning of the Sun from being allowed at royal photoshoots has caused a bit of an outcry today.

Though, better still, is the response to the news that Wayne Rooney's family are planning to settle their differences with a boxing match.

"I’m appalled that Wayne Rooney’s dad and the father of his future wife have resorted to a boxing match to sort out a family feud.

This is nothing short of barbaric and I hope the authorities step in to stop this bout.

It sends out the wrong message to anyone who has a family gripe. "

One find's it hard to argue with the sentiments of the last sentence.

Pacman

Play full screen. Brilliant.

Check out the 'wobbly' borders of the web page as well.

B3ta's Special Olympics

Ok. This is in bad taste. I quote the aim...

"Frankly, we think the Special Olympics are all wrong. Why adapt disabled people to the events with artificial legs and whatnot when you can adapt the events to the people? Show us the special events you'd like to see at the oh-so-special B3ta Special Olympics."

You have been warned. This picture was captioned "Just a Bronze this time."

Buffy's Sweating Keyboard

Guess who's not been to b3ta's site for a long time.

What joy it brings!

This is ace; Buffy (the Vampire Slayer one presumes) swearing keyboard.

(one for you sam)

Hell's Bells

Here's something I thought I'd never see.

Helen Chamberlain in Penthouse.

Joey Deacon

Having had a quick look at the B3ta’s Special Olympic, it soon came to my attention that Joey was getting a bit of a battering.

For everybody who remembers Joey from his numerous appreances on Blue Peter in the early 80’s then here is a site dedicated to the man himself.

Singhsons

Asian Version of the Simpsons with Bartinder and co

London Tonight

I was actually looking for a piece of news that was broadcast on one of the London Regional News channels and found this!

Ricky Gervais Politics Part II

Phew. That's a relief. Your mind plays tricks.

A favourable review of Gervais' Politics show from The Obvserver.

Nixon

For all you employers out their. Please see my CV as I am in need of decent employment

File Sharing

Keep up to date with file sharing news.

Includes links to many articles proving that P2P networks DON'T impact on CD sales, and what the music biz are trying to do to crack down.

Trusty Files

Following on from DiaRIAA, at last file sharing software that allows multiple searches across multiple networks (Kazaa, Gnutella and Morpheus) without spyware.

My P2P software of choice (and I've tried a fare few I can tell you)

Fewer is the new less

For those of you that, like me, felt a slight rouging of the cheeks when reading Eats, Shoots and Leaves when discussing supermarket checkout grammer.

This link explains why it should be "10 items or fewer" rather than "10 items or less".

I really hope I've got that the right way round.

Beer Game

Not big or clever, but fun for a few minutes.

(Oh, and a bit sexist)

Baftas

Ricky Gervais picks up another couples of awards, as usual.

Nothing exciting there. Though he did say this as well...

"People ask me how this compares to the Golden Globes in LA. There you look out and see Michael Douglas, Jude Law and Tom Cruise. Here I can look out and see... the painting bloke and the gardening bloke off the telly."

Alternative Mix Tape

Check this out.

Good friend James has put together a collection of tunes.

I'm sure he won't mind the 'alternative' tag.

Celebrity Tittle-Tattle

Well, darn me. Robbie Williams is a g*ylord (before you start, that's not homophobic, it's a term of endearment).

Everyone else probably new this already. I take a dim view of the 'cult of celebrity' frankly. It feels like the whole country has descended to the intellectual level of Hello magazine. All very disheartening.

PS I don't normally read 'femail' but I was looking first for The Sun letters (but their website was down) so I thought I'd have a laugh at the Daily Hate instead. Apparently the Daily Mail online is in development so something for all of us to look forward to.

Our House II

By popular demand our new house again.

G a ylord Story II

It seems that g*y stories are like buses. You wait for bloody ages for one then two come along on the same day.

So Kevin Spacey was out 'walking his dog' at 04:00 on Saturday morning.

I don't suppose his dog is called Ron Davies by any chance.

"Walking your dog in the park is a perfectly normal thing to do," he added. "My doggy had to go."

Maradona

Jeez, what happened to Maradona.

"Drugs and whores" according to my colleague Dave.

I'd have thought that that combination would have made him lose weight, not gain it. There you go.

Subservient Chicken

Somebody in a chicken costume who will do whatever you want.

Loop Labs

Fun music lab that er has loops and stuff (the name says it all really)

Icon trouble

I shouldn't really divert you with this sort of rubbish..

Anyone who has had to choose a set of icons for a webpage or application will know how difficult it is to find appropriate images. Most people, faced with representing 'catalogue' would have played it safe and had some sort of book based picture. Not this fella though. A cat and a log. Ace.

French Washing Instructions

Extra washing instructions that comment on the French President

Dolphin Sex

Well, this fellas not scared to share his views.

A web page dedicated to describing, in some detail, how you can engage sexually with dolphins.

Probably not for all tastes I suspect, but when asked about the possibility of catching a disease of some sort he responds..

"This is a little known area, more so because Zoophilia is considered illegal in many places (which I think is a load of crud, but the law's the law....)"

PS Oh, and a gratuitous shot of a dolphin.

Magnus Mills

A new short story from Magnus Mills from his new collection. Kindly published on the Guardian.

Anyone that hasn't read All Quiet on the Orient Express I think, frankly, should.

Good Riddance to Ron Atkinson

Atkinson Resigns after a racist comment about Desailly. Thank god he's gone, maybe ITV will employ someone who actually knows something about football

Ron's other career

At least Big Ron has something else to fall back on.

The new Daivd Brent?

Is Richard Desmond the new David Brent? After making nazi jibes and goose stepping at high powered executives meeting you might think so but I don't think even Brent would have called them all f***ing C***ts

Driv3r

Anyone else fed up with the dearth of games on the PS2? Well, there could be some light at the end of the tunnel.

Driver was a great game on the PS1. So if you can't wait until the end of October then for GT4 then Driv3r might be the answer.

And listen to this fella on Amazon..

"Driv3r will be easily the best game of this year. Unlike the other 2 Drivers, you will be able to shoot people and run them over."

Copy Controlled CDs

Are a pain in the backside.

Were a pain in the backside. Not any more. This software CDex will rip 'em. It's not pretty but it works.

Hero to zero and back to hero again

Well, Sun readers should be no strangers to, seemingly amnesiac, hypocrisy.

"Massive" (their previous words not mine) Michelle - the fat one that won the singing programme - is now flavour of the month again. And she didn't even need to go topless.

Tron

This fella's ace.

He has not only made his own Tron outfit. He explains how he did it and also have kindly taken many pictures.

Real Ninjas

At last, a site dedicated to real ninjas.

we are helpfully informed that ninjas:

1: Are mammals

2:They fight all of the time

3:Their purpose is to flip out and kill people

The Best Online Games

According to the Guardian, anyway.

Fitter or Fatter

Interesting review of a new book.

Paul's Precis : fit and fat is better than unfit and thin

biddycam

Check out the grim reaper in the March highlights