www.paulnixon.org

F1 2004

Guardian's take on the long-awaited 2004 Formula 1 season.

The Curious Incident..

of the Dog in the Night-time is an excellent book. Quite unique (as far as I'm aware) as it's written from the point of view of a teenage boy with Asperger's. Lots of humour and scientific and mathematics curiosities along the way.

Monty Hall Problem

This is cool (I'd come across it before, but it features in the book below). Spend a couple of minutes reading and thinking about it. It's worth it.

Requiem

Erm, not sure how to describe this. Needs sound.

P.S. Watch till the end.

Reuters Pictures

Very nice pictures.

Jamie Oliver's Scooter

.. and a free dinner. Can't be bad.

Brilliant

Dogs use glory holes too!

Sick of junk mail?

Paper mail that is. Well MPS should be able to help. You can register your surname and address online and this should reduce the amount of mail that you receive. And if it doesn't, you can also complain about companies that continue to send you unsolicited rubbish.

WITH A BIG STICK

A blog. But funny. Addictive even. And any blog with a title "Crazed wolves in store a big mistake, admit Mothercare" is ok by me.

Venusberg

I'm becoming a blog bore it would seem. Anyway, check this guy out. He went off air after christmas but he's back, with a vengeance. Quality.

Montoya Fun (non F1 fans look away)

Brilliant. Oh for the full transcript. One question went something like this: 'If Juan could Juan (win) just Juan (one) Formula Juan (one) race which Juan (one) would Juan want to Juan (win)?'

Sherriff John Burnell

If you have never seen scariest Police chases on Sky TV, check this site out. He has to be seen to be believed

Spooky…

I was looking for Paul’s site on Google and stumbled across this site. Could this be Paul’s twin?

The Jewel in Normandy’s Crown

Ok, this is fab. See if you can spot the fella, on his knees, in the green hat, red lumberjack shirt, blue gloves and black trousers exposing himself?

Spookyer...

Arthur there is a family of them

We'll be listening..

..to The Streets. Come on May 10. Anyway, here's the tracklisting for the second album.

mp3 ingenuity

How about this? Brilliant idea. Plug this old boy into your mp3 player, then tune your radio to the old boy. If you see what I mean. (NB this is not prison lingo). Courtesy of Rich Stone

Stan Collymore

I'll be honest: I don't like Stan Collymore. I've never met him or anything like that but that changes nothing. So it is that it provides me with regretful amusement of his (even) further downfall.

PS If anyone can tell me what dogging is and if it is g*y or not I would be most grateful. I must be getting old.

Home Page

You may all want to set this as your home page, I've set it as mine. You can track our leaders progress up to and through the next election, save the weekly photo as you wallpaper or check up one the latest efforts to protect the homeland

even better

In my haste as well writing "one" instead of "on" I missed this link. He is truely a compassionate man

Dogging Info

Find out where to have fun in your area

Moron DC

Non-f1 fans look away again. Honestly what is DC like? He's like an idiot. Every year he trots out the 'this is going to be my year' then, after only 1 race, has decided that it's all over with 17 races to go saying that he won't be able to make up the 9 points. Still all the time he's still in f1 we get pleasurable moments like the last corner of his qualifying lap.

Two reasons for a celebration...

First, a super win for Michael on Sunday. And second, a relaunch of paulnixon.org.

Americans are too fat

Comes the shock news from a new study. I could have saved them a lot of money I think.

"Several teenagers recently tried to sue the McDonald's fast food chain, claiming its products made them fat. ", it goes on to say.

Next week, a study will try and prove that Americans are too litigious.

PitPass.com

Oh dear, another F1 link. Ok. Ok. It's the first week of the new season, that's my excuse.

Anyway, this website looks interesting for those of a gp-style bent.

Million Dollar Idiot

There's so much about this story that it's hard to know where to start.

However, the question you find youself asking is: why would you go to Walmart first? If someone gave me $3 million I think I could imagine more exciting ways of spending the money.

I could go on.. Did she really thing that they would have change?

Anorak

Another site I'm sure everyone else in the world has already discovered.

It's a kind of review of the newspapers, but mostly lampooning the tabloids. Which seems noble enough to me.

Anyway, discussing celebrities desire to be anything but ordinary, this peach came up

"They crave individuality. When Jordan’s breasts are average, she inflates them until they are well beyond the mean. "

I like that.

PS The inclusion of the Jordan picture is not a cynical attempt to boost "ratings". Honest.

4 Swearing

Needs sound.

Turn it up when the boss walks nearby.

Warren Evans

If you need a new bed, then look no further than here.

Excellent hand-made beds delivered and fitted within a few days.

And check out the famous faces section: Timothy Spall, Dawn French and Liza Tarbuck amongst others. Reassuring, I'm sure, for those with concerns about sturdiness.

(F)Atkins Diet

Slowly the worm is turning. I'm guessing that low-carb products will replace low-fat in the next few years.

Inevitable. Because it works.

It's not the whole answer though. Eventually the world with catch up (aren't I the pioneer) with the concept of 'glycaemic index' and we'll all live a lot healthier.

However, more important than all of this is that, every time the BBC get hold of a health story, they use this old picture of a Filet o' Fish (pronounced, for those that haven't worked in the trade, 'fillay oh fish')

Can't buy class

Once a pikey always a pikey

'Mystic' 'Meg'

I've long had my suspicions about the so-called Mystic Meg. First that she's not mystic. And second, I'd be prepared to wager that her name's not Meg either.

I've long suspected that astrology is, frankly, a complete load of balls. The expression 'disconcertingly vague' typically springs to mind. Further, the idea that we somehow inherit traits from the animals, etc that the current alignment of the some of the stars in the night sky vaguely resemble seems as odd as believing the moon is fabricated entirely from cheese.

However, the discovery of a new planet has forced a rethink on my behalf. Maybe I've been a bit too hasty in my judgement.

Anyway, the Anorak is on the case.

"First of all, the timing of the announcement suggests that anything is possible for mankind," says Meg.

Phew, that's a relief then. I thought it might have meant something specific.

Come on Meg, time to stop messing around I think. Use you fortune telling powers and tell us who's going to win the 3:30 and Chepstow.

F### off Eddie - Part 2

"Outraged Verstappen fans have responded by sending the Irish team boss a barrage of angry missives, ranging from wishing Jordan and his family dead, to hoping that his drivers Nick Heidfeld and Pantano crashed and the team went bankrupt."

I'm surprised that after Frentzen, Vodafone and Verstappen that the man can still show his face in the pit lane.

I'm surprised he can't see the lighter side of the death threats.

Human target

Mad group of americans fire 25 roman candles at their mate

Personal Virus Software

Need some free virus protection at home?

I did. Check out avast. So far so good for me.

Dasani

I'm never one to kick a huge multi-national company where they're down. However.

1. this is coca-cola

2. they are rebottling tap water

3. their website proclaims "Dasani is the one of the purest waters around, but it takes a lot of science to make it this clean and clear for you to drink and enjoy. "

Spam Poetry

Neither big, nor clever.

And not that amusing really, but it makes you wonder how much spare time some people obviously have.

Streets single

It's not a great copy but it's online (ripped from the Pete Tong show)

Jeremy Clarkson -v- Piers Morgan

Unbelievably good news.

Two of the least pleasant public figures coming to blows at the British Press Awards.

I quote from the Guardian

"The Sun's motoring editor Ken Gibson and former Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie's brother, Craig, were also caught up in the melee. Gibson manfully warded off any further challenges with the cry: 'I'm warning you, I'm from Newcastle.' "

PS Will require registration

Michael Schumacher

.. earns an estimable $64 million a year. Well, he did in 2003 anyway.

It sounds like a lot but I think he's worth it.

The Golden Bull Awards

From the Plain English Campaign website.

For example, jungle.com were asked if they still sold blank CDs, instead of 'no' they replied

PS One wonders if a competition could be established for exposing Plain Websites.

Racist Slang dictionary

An entire dictionary of racist slang terms. Really not very nice but useful for deciphering lingo in US films

Ha ha Dasani

Justice. Thank you Coca cola, but I've got my own taps anyway.

American Water

Though this might explain why purified tap water is so popular in the States..

Dasani III

Sorry, at risk at looking like I'm gloating.

Ha ha.

Basement Suxx

..or Belgian Basement Jaxx.

Well, actually they weren't really that bad. We saw them on the 19th, the night after the review.

The music was great; the guest vocals dreadful.

Still, there was a lot of people there having a great time. So ignore me.

ps oh, and brixton academy was filthy. the problem caused by normally insufficient toilet facilities exacerbated by breakdowns and closures.

BBC Radio classics

Includes the classic "leg-over" cricket commentary and someone throwing up on air.

USB Drive enabled pen knife

Finally a reason to be impressed by the Swiss army.

They'll upload you to death.

The Future of Travel

This article has a rather 'Tomorrow's World' feel to it.

It is very disappointment that nobody has come up with a safe, reliable jet pac.

Red Beard

Unfortunately not as exciting as it sounds.

A rather good platform style game rather than, as the title may have implied, the unshorn private parts of a female with an unfortunate hair colour.

Snow Patrol

We went to see Snow Patrol on Monday night at the Shepherds Bush Empire and it was bloomin' marvellous frankly.

Excellent venue, my first time there.

Snow Patrol were truly first class and the crowd really up for it. Nay bad for a Monday night.

The only fly in the ointment was the horrendous misjudgement of the support band. The teenage Welsh rap "massive" or "collective" (apparently) GLC or Goldie Lookin' Chain. I've never seen a band so vehemently jeered by the audience.

It's not that they were so (SO) bad but rather the incongruity of their music in the context of the evening. Apart from the somewhat tedious, but expected, celebration of the teenage revelation of smoking weed they finished on a real high with 'Your mum has a pen1s'.

And a picture from my phone to show that a fine time was had by all.

Steve Coogan

For those still grieving about I'm Alan Partridge's performance in BBC's sitcom awards then there is some cheer in the form of his website.

Considering I'm meant to be such a 'fan' I should have stumbled upon it before. There you go.

RIP Google

Here lays a once excellent search engine. Alas no more.

Check the link for a search for 'fashion trainers uk'.

A search engine that only returns hits to other search engines is no use to anybody.

Does anyone know of any alternatives?

DogPile

Well, could this be the successor?

My "benchmark" search of 'fashion trainers uk' yielded a much better result.

I'm going to give it a go for a while. They have a toolbar too.

'Tis a sad day however. Never thought I'd have to turn against Google. We've been through so much together.

Search engines, search engines

Dogpile is OK but it is only metasearch engine pulling results from other engines like Google and Yahoo. I sometimes use Teoma, it has a slightly modified version of the Google popularity algorithm. For results that are different (but not necessarily better) I head to AlltheWeb. Oh, fashion trainers might be better searched using Froogle! Just my two pennorth.

Mozilla Firefox

Given that Microsoft seemed to have "dropped the ball" browser-wise it's only natural that people seek alternatives.

Mozilla have a super new (ish) browser called Firefox which is supposedly standards compliant. And it's light. And it's fast.

PS Humourously, however, my website doesn't quite work properly in Firefox until I fix a couple of things.

Radio 6

The BBC's, can I say, alternative broadcast channel.

Available over t'internet and makes a change for 20-song playlist commercial radio. Even my favourite XFM gets a little jaded after extended listening.

Also available, apparently on DAB.

Courtesy of James

BugMeNot

Want to read something on the web but they demand your email, birth date and shoe size? Not to worry, BugMeNot has hundred of logins so you can pretend to be a Gran from Tacoma.