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Trick or Treat - Get rid of it

I dunno, it's a bloody mystery to me. Halloween has taken off big style hasn't it?

Yet not one person at a shit family pub on the outskirts of Bedford could tell me what halloween is about and what their display of ladies tights, bin bags and vegetables is a tribute to.

I wouldn't mind but it is followed just a few days later by firework night which is brilliant. And, everyone knows it is all about some fella trying to blow up the houses of parliament. I’m not sure who’s side I’m on to be honest but I do enjoy the fireworks.

On the other hand, I do not enjoy spending a night under siege in my house being terrorised by gangs of teenage thugs masquerading as "trick or treaters”. To make it worse, my wife tried to get me to go to the door with some fun size treats. One can only imagine the derision I would suffer, standing feebly in front of a large gang of 7ft tall teenagers holding a bowl of very small packets of skittles and m&ms. No, they want money.

Not sure how this has become acceptable.

Of course, Tesco are partly to blame. They import tons of plastic shit from China every year and sell it at hugely inflated prices. And people buy it Along with pumpkins which no one would buy at any other time of the year because they taste horrible. String and seeds.

Anyway, roll on Christmas. I like carol singers. At least you do get something for your money.

Oh yeah, and pity this poor bastard. He got shot. Though I suspect there was more to it than trick or treating. What it does highlight though is that if you’re a bit mental and have a bit of a grudge against somebody, it is a great night to disguise yourself with a curtain, a bin bag and a pair of tights, don an automatic weapon, take care of some people that have got on your nerves whilst blending in perfectly with your surroundings.

I think the Government should concern themselves less with people drinking wine on trains and think about more serious issues such as this.

Football the muslim way

Seems some of the religious nutters in Saudi Arabia have decided how good Muslims should play football. Read on...

Disney in the rain

I'm not sure whether the time elapsed is any factor in this image being near the top of the list on google, but do a search on disney in the rain, and look in images.

How about something a bit more seasonal now?

Cubers

Now, who says that cubers are cool?

Pornotunning

Better than Disney

Host Loses Control

Brilliant video clip of a Dutch (presumably) chat show host losing it whilst interviewing a fella with a high pitched voice.

Xfm Winter Wonderland

Looks good.

Almost, quite literally, a winter wonderland.

Borat

Don't get me wrong, I thought the Borat sketches on the Ali G show were as hilarious as the next man. Brilliant comedy.

However, whoever thought it would be a good idea to have him host the MTV awards ought really to be given a written kicking by his or her employer.

Not wishing to sound like Mary Whitehouse but I thought it was inappropriate and misjudged. A program with a very international audience cannot be expected to have an understanding of British alternative comedy.

His material was on the controversial side and much to my disappointment, not at all funny.

Unsurprisingly, the formerly blissfully unaware Kazakhstan Foreign Ministry is outraged at “claims” such as “Kazakh people would shoot a dog and then have a party, and that local wine was made from fermented horse urine” and are now considering legal action against Sacha Baron Cohen.

Should make for an amusing court hearing.

Fainting Goats

A species of Goat whose muscles become all tense so they faint when startled. Surely a really hinderance to an animal regarded as prey?

allthegoodstuff

Yay.

Mostly done. I've written a new website that enables one to set up a wishlist of items from any website. You can share your list with others and they can flag the items as purchased.

Check it.

HumanMetrics

Not that I'd normally dabble in such things, but this looks quite interesting.

Answer 72 yes/no questions and find out things about yourself that you knew already. Very re-affirming.

One suspects that everyone will end up happy, as one tends to answer the questions how one thinks the person you'd like to be would answer.

Anyway, I'm an INTJ. Introverted Intuitive Thinking Judging kinda guy.

Mrs Bush

.. scaring the b'jesus out of me.

Courtesy of james.

Bob Geldof

.. continues to irritate me.

I'm sure that no-one has forgotten his outburst at eBay earlier.

I'm sure no-one has forgotten his refusal to allow African bands to play at Live8.

And I'm sure no-one has forgotten his shambolic parading of the Ethopian women he claimed that was saved from certain death by Live Aid - when it was actually a Canandian reporter.

Finally, I presume that no-one has forgotten that the deal his was so pleased about at the G8 earlier in the year was considered a very bad deal for Africa.

Anyway, he's moaning about email now.

Finally, who can forget this fucking disgusting picture.

Bob Geldof II

Here's my somewhat belated audition for Private Eye.

Inept Journalism

I, personally, would be very excited to meet Steve Coogan.

Not Sam Wollaston though as is demonstrated in this thoroughly incompent piece of journalism.

Anyway, I'm happy to draw attention to his, Steve Coogan's, new film.

Holy Moly

I'm a regular visitor to c*nts corner. From the same people we have the 'Rules of life' and, now, a spin-off book.

Unremarkable mostly, apart from this amusing cartoon.

Astrologists

.. get my goat frankly.

Not surprisingly, they get Richard Dawkin's too - goat that is.

Astrology, like all such nonsense (numerology, tarot cards, christianity - the list goes on), is never defended by it's proponents. Well, OK, some people might have the required gall to defend christianity.

Anyway, here's a nice example

"Of course, I cannot prove that Mercury going retrograde will have any effect, nor would I wish to do so. My point about astrology is not about whether it is true - or, indeed, whether I believe it - but that very many people find it engaging."

I'm aware that this might sound humourless, but the fact that people find something merely engaging should be insufficient grounds for inclusion in a 21st century broadsheet newspaper.

Furthermore, if one is making such pronouncements, might it not be their duty, or at least sufficiently arouse their curiosity, to spend a bit of time finding out if there is any validity in what they're saying?

Have we seen the last Monza GP

Hard to believe, but an Italian court has ruled that F1 cars cannot race at Monza unless fitted with appropriate silencers.

Surely not.

Children in Need

Congratulations to Pete!

Yesterday, on his day off, he completed his 24 hour wank-a-thon for the Children in Need appeal, raising £40.

Man dies after sex with horse

Everyone loves a comedy bestiality story, but this one's a bit of a stomach turner.

Wrap It

Do not. I repeat DO NOT, under any circumstances use Wrap It for your wedding list.

They are useless. Worse than useless.

It has now been over 14 weeks since we closed off our list. Rach has taken a day off work for our second consignment and half of the stuff is missing.

Over 3 months!!

Google Logos

Seen most of them. Not this one though..

Breath Capture

This should be a spoof. But I don't think it is.

"Everyone is born with it. A desire to be near the ones we care about most. And we find ways to remember them when they're away. A lock of hair. Letters. An old photo. And now there's Breath Capture™. Capture the breath of a loved one or friend and keep them close. Forever."

If you've got time, do check out the test.

Bush Can't open door

Irritated by questioning, Bush seeks a quick retreat only to be foiled by a locked door. check the video

Simon Singh

An article in the Guardian regarding the teaching, or not as the case may be, of physics in school.

This marks, for me, a slide into pre-renaissance ignorant superstition. A new dark ages of religious and pseudo-religious beliefs.

Anyway, when Simon Singh speaks, I think we should listen.

Nice quote..

"John Keats talked of "unweaving the rainbow", suggesting that Newton destroyed the beauty of nature by analysing light with a prism and splitting it into different colours. Keats was being a prat."

Evening Standard

The Evening Standard is one of my least favourite publications. A kind of budget Daily Mail for those needing a second daily fix of reactionary nonsense.

Anyway, have they not stopped going on about the dangers of binge drinking since the proposed change in licensing laws. In fact, you can see here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here.. i could go on.

So how do they mark the first day of the new law. With a celebratory multi-page pullout listing all of the pubs, etc that have attained a 24 hour license.

Prove Tony's a liar and win a million squid

It's not a lottery. It is a game of skill.

Ideal Xmas present for Paul

Too good to miss

Jenson Button

Ah, poor old Jenson. His humiliation continues. Though surely this was self-inflicted.

Anyway, the perfect gift... a jenson e-video message.

Flickr words

This is very clever.

Courtesy of james

International Dutch Oven Society

Some people are so brazen. Filthy.