www.paulnixon.org

Argies

Well. Poor old Argentina are out of the world cup.

But, on the plus side, at least they got the opportunity to show what great, honourable sportsmen they are.

Fonts on Linux

A rant about Fonts on Linux.

The god awful appearance of linux was one of the major reasons I didn't switch.

The land of the free

You are 23 times more likely to be imprisoned in the US than in India. And 5 times more like than here in the UK.

I wonder if this has anything to do with America's divisive and iniquitous social and fiscal policy.

Monty Hall Problem

I think I've posted about this before. But it is fascinating - it's like a blind spot of the brain.

A thoroughly honest game-show host has placed a car behind one of three doors. There is a goat behind each of the other doors. You have no prior knowledge that allows you to distinguish among the doors. "First you point toward a door," he says. "Then I'll open one of the other doors to reveal a goat. After I've shown you the goat, you make your final choice whether to stick with your initial choice of doors, or to switch to the remaining door. You win whatever is behind the door."

You begin by pointing to door number 1. The host shows you that door number 3 has a goat.

Do the player's odds of getting the car increase by switching?

The, answer, most unintuitively is yes.

Hasselhoff in chandelier accident

An irresistable headline

Doonesbury

.. having a justified pop at creationists.

The Power of Prayer

Shock result. Praying doesn't work.

So God is both invisible and deaf. Or cruel. Or lazy.

In fact, sometimes it seems like God never does anything at all. Almost like he's not even there.

Anyway. Precis. A study involving 1,800 people, half prayed for, half not show no difference in outcome after heart surgery.

In fact, those that knew they were being prayed for fared slightly worse.

God Hates Amputees

A humourous, and semi-serious, analysis of God's obvious and intriguing dislike for amputees.

There are many documented cases of God answering prayers to heal the sick. However, not a single amputee. Not one.

Why? They can't all be undeserving.

Could it be that there may be some alternative explanation for these "miracles"?

All that glitters..

A little shop I pass on my bike on the way to work.

A bridalwear shop named "All that glitters". Apart from the misquote, I'm sure Shakespeare used the word "glisters", the implications of the name are rather amusing.

Finishing the well known saying with "is not gold" one has to wonder what is being implied. The dress looks good but isn't, or worse, the bride. Either way..

I think they should change the name to "Mutton dressed as".

Portugal Out

After another appalling display of gamemanship, sadly Portugal are out.

Maybe Cristiano Ronaldo would like to be reminded of happier times.

David Walliams

Wow. Quite an achievement swimming the channel.

Here's how he did it.

Only in America

Isn't this beautiful?

"Baseball fans, some of the most devoted in all of sport, will soon be able to proclaim their loyalties in a whole new way. Eternal Image, Inc. (OTC:ETIM.PK), a public company engaged in the design, manufacturing, and marketing of customized designer caskets and urns, today announced it has signed a licensing agreement with Major League Baseball (MLB)."

Are there no depths to which people will not sink to make money?

10 signs...

that you are a fundamental christian..

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

Browser/OS stat

Interesting.

I'm not sure what sites it tracks; however, some highlights.

Browser

IE 6 - 67%

Firefox - 24%

OS

XP - 85%

Windows (all) - 95%+

Screen Res

1280 x 1024 - 16%

1024 x 768 - 55%

800 x 600 - 11%

Putin

Say what?

"Vladimir Putin's decision to stop a small boy as he walked through the Kremlin and kiss his stomach was prompted by a desire to "touch him like a kitten," the Russian president said on Thursday."

Prescott's new pal

not a very nice man

Smokey Robinson

Paul Newman's discreet sponsorship of an italian dressing seems somehow very dignified when compared to this!

"Smokey has tasted from the kettles of the world’s most renowned chefs --- and from the pots of some of the most soulful kitchens."

" Smokey is genuinely excited about his own line of food products!"

Groan.

Writing Style Guide

The Economist way.

A must-read for me I think.

Ali G

Phnar, phnar.

Ali G chairs a debate on creationism.

Bad English

A collection of metaphors used by US students.

They had me literally laughing like a drain.

A couple of highlights..

"He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience,

like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse

without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around

the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking

at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."

"She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was

room-temperature Canadian beef."

"The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated

because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a

surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine."

"He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree."

"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds

who had also never met."

"He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,

either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping

on a land mine or something."

Free Plasma TV

Genius.

Tour de France

Well. I've been trying a bit harder to get into the Tour de France this year. So far so good. It's a shame I missed the Armstrong era I think.

I strongly believe that understanding is a key to enjoyment of sports, so I've been 'boning up'.

In how many sports could this now be said...

The riders, unlike some of their fans, have traditionally tempered their competitiveness and enthusiasm with an elaborate but unwritten code of conduct. Whenever reasonably possible, one allows a rider to lead the peloton when the race passes through his home village or on his birthday, and it often happens that the winner of the stage held on Bastille Day is French. One does not attack a leading rider who has suffered a mechanical breakdown or other misfortune, one who is eating in the feed zone or one who is enjoying un besoin naturel (roughly translated to a natural need, the practice of answering nature's call).

Iraq war

More shame.

This time it's US soldiers being accused of raping 14 year old girls.

Worse US officials have been trying to pretend that she was over 20.

Dear oh dear.

Cripes

Everyone's favourite politician, Boris Johnson, has agreed to support Bob's (ex-colleague) protest against the ridiculous law forbidding protest within 1km of parliament.

Bob says that : "I will form part of a human chain around the Westminster no protest zone but only if 6,000 other people will join in."

Top job Bob.

Typing test

Nothing more or nothing less.

82 wpm for me.

Ronaldo

At risk of sounding unreasonably vindictive, I hope that Cristiano has to play in the UK next year.

I also hope that the sale of zippo lighters and files for sharpening coins rocket.

Revelation

Best eBay bargain ever.

Jesus has revealed himself to this man.

Specifically..

#1: The precise location of Heaven

#2. The cure for cancer

#3. The solution for the achievement of world peace.

#4. He revealed the future to me.

Fifth, and finally, he said, write this down and sell it on eBay.

Blair discovers joys of e-mailing

Surely a man who has only just opened acquired his own email account is in no way fit to lead the country.

The article opens with the sentence “Tony Blair has finally joined the computer age and has his own e-mail account, it has been revealed.”

Jesus christ.

Looking a right James Blunt in the picture as usual

F1 Tracks on Google Maps

Cool.

Thames Water

You may have noticed numerous adverts placed by Thames Water.

My letter to them :

hello there

i have noticed that there are a lot of adverts springing up boasting of the amount of water you're going to save with improvements.

could you answer a couple of questions for me?

1. how much is this advertising campaign costing?

2. is the advertising campaign necessary? given that you are effectively a monopolistic provider of an essential service, it seems quite unnecessary.

2. how long would it take to fill battersea power station with the water that you lose?

thanks

paul

Rapture Nutters

I won't claim to fully understand the 'rapture' theory, but it goes something along the lines of the second coming will be proceeded by some terrible unrest in the Middle East.

Therefore, the current actions by Israel have been greeted with a lot of excitement by some.

I like this quote

"A question just popped in my head. Do you think children of around say 7 or 8 (but before the age of accountability) that have been indoctrinated up until that time by their parents religious beliefs will be raptured? . . . For example, would a 7 year old muslim be raptured? I know G-d will do right but I was just wondering everyone's thoughts. I hate to think of kids being left here."

Poor fools.

Wankathon on Channel 4

in the words of Richard Littlejohn "you couldn't make it up". Except Paul already did in a previous entry on this site. This one's for real though

Happening in Clerkenwell

Foxit PDF Viewer

Justice.

I may have posted about this before.

Anyway, it's worth reiterating.

My vote for the worst bit of software ever probably goes to Adobe Acrobat.

It's a big download, installs toolbars in your browser, installs loads of crap photo organising software, is incredibly slow to load and when it does it pesters you like a 3 year old child with updates you don't want. And all you want to do is view a PDF.

Here's an alternative. And it weighs in a just over 1mb and consists of one file.

Tour de France

I've been really enjoying the Tour de France this year. As much as the World Cup I would estimate. Maybe more.

Here's a commentary of Floyd Landis' amazing victory in the Alps.

Unbelievable.

Disgrace

I won't claim to understand the complexities of the situation in the Middle East.

However, it does seem somewhat odd as we quitely ignore with condemnation what is going on.

Anyway, here's a great graphic...

YouTube

YouTube is apparently the 18th most visited site in the world, it is a site which holds funny and embarrassing video clips. Worth checking out! (I particularly like the 'Net Neutrality' one.)

Thames Water II

The first response from Thames Water.

It has the somewhat cryptic line "I trust this information is of assistance".

Surely that is not in reference to this e-mail, which merely states that my e-mail has been passed on to someone else. Hardly information. But surely it can't mean the information that I will receive in the next 10 days; which may, or may not, be of assistance but surely neither I, nor Sugandh, can see far enough into the future to judge.

Still, progress...

Dear Mr Nixon

Thank you for your e-mail.

I have passed it to the relevant department and they will contact you in the next 10 working days.

I trust this information is of assistance.

Yours sincerely

Sugandh Vasisht

Customer Agent

The Government is drawing up plans to introduce pe

Look at no.2 in this Times top stories.

This is the move by the government to create swipe cards to record the carbon allowance per person.

I have no idea how it will work, or if it will come into effect, but I think this is a fantastic idea. I assume that those that go over the allowance will have to pay extra tax or have to plant x number of trees. Companies who have executives that travel a lot will, I hope, be penalised largely, to encourage more virtual meetings to cut down on unnecessary emissions.

Of course it opens up a debate on so many areas, of how it is monitored, what will be done to prevent card fraud, and what the penalties will be etc.? But I believe it’s a worthwhile debate that needs to be had sooner rather than later, otherwise this extremely hot weather will become the norm and will spiral out of control…

First Zinedine Zidane

It now seem like headbutting is the norm in sport, but your horse!

Largest Hole in the World

Given the title it's surprisingly work-friendly.

Cycle numberplate plan to catch lawless riders

Wow, never thought I'd see number-plates on bicycles come into fruition, but I must admit that with the number of cyclists that jump red lights and do what they please on the roads in London, I think it's a good idea. I’m fed up of being nearly run over by cyclists every day when I cross a pedestrian crossing whilst walking to work.

Chirs Morris on The Time the Place

An oldy but a goody. From before he disappeared up his own aris.