Added by Dave 01 June 2006 09:25
Called the Charity, Freedom and Diversity Party, among their aims are lowering the age of consent to 12 and legalising bestiality. Surely being a member of this party is tantamount to placing yourself on the sex offender's register?
Added by JamesN 01 June 2006 11:25
I think we’re all more than familiar with the questionnable act of patriotism demonstrated by football fans who attach grossly underengineered St George’s flag devices to their to their cars as World Cup “fever” kicks in.
I’ve not admitted as much publicly, but privately I’ve been quietly seething about the matter for some weeks.
However, and this has made my day – it seems the horse community is unhappy about he safety threat posed by these things.
"It is commendable the nation is getting behind their football team but I do have concerns that motorists may cause an animal to bolt and possibly cause injury to itself, its rider or innocent passers-by” say Hampshire police, prompted as they were into wasting taxpayers money by hundreds of whinging horse people who seem to think that their use of the road is far more important than anyone else’s. Despite the fact this is clearly not the case.
Bloody horse riders. Look, ride round fields all you like but why do you have to use the roads? Don’t tell me you enjoy it – it must be bloody terrifying. Horses are hardly compatible with modern traffic are they?
And frankly, if any further evidence were needed that horses should not use the roads, it is this – if they are upset by a shitty little flag hanging out of someone’s window, then really, should they be on the road?
Surely if they are this susceptible to dangerously unpredictable behaviour, the question ought to be asked.
I regularly did a paper round up the A6 in Rushden in my youth. Believe me, a ruddy great lorry passing within inches of your overloaded paper bag, is far more terrifying than an idiot with a flag shut in their window.
Added by stones 01 June 2006 13:13
Still some way to go I think, especially watching the video
Added by Paul 01 June 2006 22:08
Nuts. Absolutely nuts.
In their words..
"Mobilizing millions of Americans to pray daily for our president, our leaders, our Nation and our Armed Forces".
Added by Dave 02 June 2006 13:17
A reasonably interesting article. But read it through and see if you can spot the really out of charcter phrase in it
Added by James 05 June 2006 11:27
Only 3 people have solved it. Go Paul!
Added by stones 05 June 2006 13:06
Tutorials on photoshop, css and various other web stuff.
Added by Dave 05 June 2006 16:27
There are some classy ladies in here, search on ones with photos
Added by Paul 06 June 2006 11:43
The Daily Mail continues its perplexing and dangerous campaign against MMR.
It's nearly as persistent as the vengeful attacks on working women, immigrants, gypsies and anyone/anything else not fitting in with its christian right agenda.
Anyway, here's what bad science man has to say.
Added by JamesN 06 June 2006 13:28
Amid all the discussion today about John Prescott’s big clever plan to build 200,000 homes in the south east, an area already chronically short of water (or so they tell us) and the fact that this proposal takes no account of how these homes will be supplied with water, lurks something far more annoying.
15%, yes, 15% of people do not pay their water bill safe in the knowledge that it is illegal for their water supplier to cut them off.
Who pays for this? Well, predictably, the customer pays for this, or those that pay do, meanwhile these once grossly inefficient, hugely costly publicly owned companies have been magically turned round so that they deliver billions in profit for their shareholders. Even though there’s water being pissed out of poorly maintained pipes across the country in massive quantities. Excellent, almost a miracle, they must have some really great managers.
Meanwhile OFWAT, the organisation established by the Government to protect consumers has sat back and let them simply pass the entire cost on to paying customers, thereby relieving them of the responsibility for collecting this money and helping to protect their extreme profits. Much easier and cheaper to collect the money of those who are prepared to pay innit? Why hire costly staff to prosecute non payers, just past it on to the mugs who pay their bills. Makes perfect commercial sense.
I wonder, what would happen if everyone, en masse, just stopped paying for their water? Nothing, presumably. Well, I’m going to draft an email to Anglian Water now to inform them of my plans to stop paying for my water, effective say 1st July.
I suggest other people should do the same.
Added by Nathan 06 June 2006 14:30
Thank you, New Labour
Added by Paul 07 June 2006 08:05
Oh dear. More New Labour policy making on the hoof.
The thinking behind this new legislation is not hard to fathom. The Home Office, in terrible trouble after 20 consecutive scandals of mindblowing incompetence, decide to go on a PR offensive.
And what better way than getting 'tough of drugs'. That'll keep Middle England happy.
"Drug users caught with as few as five ecstasy tablets or five grams of cannabis - enough for about 10 joints - will be prosecuted as dealers under regulations drawn up by the Home Office, the Guardian has learned."
And the maximum penalty - 14 years.
With the current situation of overcrowding in prison, it would seem odd to bang casual, recreational drug users up for 14 years. Odd. Perverse. And quite unnecessary.
Still, no need to worry. I'm sure this legislative turd will go the same way as Tony Blair's on-the-spot fine for yobs and the banning of alcohol on public transport.
Monkey tennis anyone?
Added by Paul 07 June 2006 08:13
I'm as keen as the next man that Rooney should make the World Cup.
However, would it seem inapt to draw attention to 'percentage inflation'.
I'm sure I remember a time when it was sufficient for people to say that they would 'give 100%'. Which is perfectly sound and logical.
However, over time, this percentage has been ratcheting up of late. It seems that, to show one's committment 110% and even 120%, more lately is required.
This is, mainly, moronic footballer-speak.
And today, Rooney says that he's '300%' sure.
Added by Paul 07 June 2006 10:38
Jenson's torrid season/life continues apace.
Those not endeared by his constant boasting are rightly enjoying watching his career unravel.
Off to Silverstone this weekend. The only shame is that the World Cup will largely obscure his dismal performance.
“I’m very patriotic and having the support of all the British fans, to hear them chanting your name, is such a fantastic feeling.
So he says. If only. He's clearly omitted to mention the next 2 words that are chanted: "you wanker"
Added by Paul 07 June 2006 14:43
The NHS deficit has doubled and New Labour continue to bungle public services.
If you ask Pat Hewitt though, she'd probably say that it's more evidence of the 'best ever year for the NHS'.
Anyway, she's asked to be judged on turning the figures round by next year.
She needn't worry. Nobody called John Prescott to account when he asked to be judged on a reduction of car journeys.
Added by JamesN 08 June 2006 14:30
Aah. I like Mark Blundell. For those who don’t watch F1 on ITV, he’s an amusing, likeable, overweight, ex second rate F1 driver turned fabulously incompetent TV pundit.
In sharp contrast to the usual professional, carefully worded statements made from teams, drivers and the press, Mark has effortlessly spewed out four pages, of Silverstone GP preview.
What I like is that it’s so obvious he’s written it, no editing, no grammar check, nothing.
For those lacking the enthusiasm or interest, I’ve extracted the cream of this article and pasted below
“Silverstone I think, is one of the great circuits that still exists.”
“..we are all excited about seeing that prospect happen again this Sunday”
“..if there is any pressure it doesn't show one little bit on his shoulders”
“There is some prospect there that the big engine guys might come out and lay a marker down but at the moment it seems it will still be Renault and Ferrari fighting tooth and nail for the win”
“Jenson has a good opportunity of producing a good result as the car has got potential attached to it.”
“It has been a very difficult situation for them handling two teams, having bought Minardi last year and re-named it Scuderia Toro Rosso and that has shown the cracks in their armour.”
“Toyota in contrast is a team with a massive question mark above its head.”
“It is something that will have to get worked out in the near future. I am sure some big questions are being asked and there needs to be some big answers delivered.”
“He is therefore putting his laundry out in public if you like.”
Added by stones 08 June 2006 17:00
Sync up your favourites, cookies etc in firefox across multiple PCs.
Nice idea, not sure about the privacy implications though.
Added by Paul 09 June 2006 08:06
That's Sir Alex Ferguson to me.
He's had a lot of bad press of late regarding Rooney.
I'm not sure it's all fair though. It must be very hard for a Scotsman to understand the importance of the World Cup.
Added by Paul 09 June 2006 08:13
It's not often you get a dose of celebrity tittle tattle here.
Brad Pitt and thingy Jolie have named their child Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt.
In slightly abbreviated form it presents us with a Betty Swollocks moment - Shiloh Pitt.
Exactly, I suspect how it would be pronounced on a McDonald's menu too.
Added by Paul 09 June 2006 11:47
... but surely unnecessary. A personal phone booth.
Added by Paul 09 June 2006 12:11
Ten things this fella has learnt by reading the Daily Express.
It includes an amusing critique of an average story from the front page. Average day in the express equates to a Princess Diani story of course.
Added by Paul 10 June 2006 12:05
Well. Microsoft and Internet Explorer take a lot of stick from evangelical idealistic computer bernards from the open source movement.
However, Firefox has its own quirks. The new version, 1.5, has a great new feature. Try and use an apostrophe on a web page and bingo, you have started doing a search.
Well, here is how to fix this problem.
Ha, he says. Now I can not cut and paste from the URL bar. Another bug.
Next week, how to stop Firefox taking up all of you RAM.
Added by Paul 11 June 2006 20:58
"What kind of PC-gone-mad-world are we living in when a husband can't even rape his own wife? "
Good ol' harmless Daily Mail.
Added by stones 12 June 2006 10:13
One for the believers out there.
Or mugs as I call em.
Added by Paul 12 June 2006 15:25
Ah. You think the Daily Mail is bad.
Check this from the News of the World on Steve Coogan.
Do people read this kind of rubbish an believe it all?
This article could be re-printed in Viz without any changes.
It feels like ironic self-parody, but I suspect that is not the case.
Added by Paul 12 June 2006 18:16
Bit of a must see Noel Edmonds moment.
Thanks to Rich.
Added by JamesN 13 June 2006 12:36
“Civil servants on Tyneside are under investigation amid allegations staff romped around naked in offices and had sex in toilets.”
The RPA, a Government agency responsible for administering payments to farmers, is investigating claims that it’s staff “leapt naked from filing cabinets, had sex in office toilets, held break-dancing competitions during working hours and fought in a reception area. “
The fact that the delay in payments has had quite a high profile in the news with farmers claiming to be at risk of bankruptcy as a consequence, makes the behaviour of these civil servants all the more amusing.
Breakdancing and fighting in reception as Rome burns if you like :o)
Added by JamesN 14 June 2006 16:55
If 250 police turned up outside my house at 4 in the morning, forced their way into my house without warning (or making themselves known as police officers), shot me (potentially fatally in the chest), pushed me to the ground, kicked me in the face, told me to “shut the fuck up”, dragged me down the stairs by my ankles, dumped me on the pavement outside then detained me for a week before realising that, oops, their intelligence was wrong, I would feel pretty aggrieved.
After a reluctant apology from the Met, clearly made under duress, I would probably be somewhere near boiling point.
However if the Prime Minister then said he that the “team were doing a superb job and he stood "101%" behind them” I think I’d be somewhere near incandescent with rage.
As Mr Kahar calmly questionned, “"Is he 101 per cent behind the bullet which went into my chest?”
This business – unbelievable. I simply cannot believe what we have descended to. Well, not we, but you know what I mean, somebody at the highest level should fucking fry for this.
Added by Paul 15 June 2006 09:59
.. are, of course, in principle a good idea. They provide a collective voice for individual workers needed to offset the power of employers.
However, like all 'interest groups' they become so one-eyed that they can't see beyond their own concerns.
So you have the rail unions organsing strikes to coincide with the world cup
and these idiots, Amicus, advising it's members how to "just take a 'sickie'"?
"It is quite difficult to prove that someone is not really sick if they have one day off".
Added by Dave 16 June 2006 09:25
For anyone interested in the worlds last Stalinist state here are some good photos
Added by JamesN 17 June 2006 22:42
Sublimely pleasurable reading courtesy of the guardian
Added by Paul 18 June 2006 14:25
Good illusion. Though oddly reminscent of the 'magic eye' 3d things that appeared endlessly in the Daily Mail supplements at the weekend.
Still. Don't let that put you off.
Added by Paul 19 June 2006 10:12
Well. The timing of the News of the World stitch-up piece seems a bit more obvious.
Steve Coogan has a new comedy, called Saxondale, starting tonight. BBC2 22:00.
Added by Paul 19 June 2006 20:44
Top game. And cube derived :-).
Added by Paul 21 June 2006 09:16
.. turn your missus into photographic trim. If you'll pardon the expression.
Added by Paul 22 June 2006 13:22
Not, granted, a particularly promising subject.
Added by Paul 22 June 2006 19:48
It's something that's been creeping up on me lately; irritation with certain Guardian columnists.
A good example is Madeleine Bunting. She shares, with most liberals, a disdain for science and reason. Or rather, when facts get in the way of comforting ideologies, it's the facts that lose out. Or those delivering the facts whose motives are subsequently impugned.
The Guardian now has their 'Comment is Free' website, which is rather good; enabling punters to respond to their columnists. And how soothing it is to find that I'm not the only one irritated by some of the rotten rubbish penned by the likes of Bunting.
I wonder if the regular pasting that our Madeleine has received has been, at least in part responsible, for her departure to work for a think tank. I'd like to think so.
Added by Paul 23 June 2006 09:24
... you'll see.
Worth waiting to see the Hitler cat if nothing else.
Added by Paul 23 June 2006 14:45
Hilarious (h)unstoppable Haywards Heath humour.
Thanks to Les.
Added by Les 23 June 2006 14:51
Added by Paul 26 June 2006 08:58
More depressing news about the private companies that own our health. Sort of anyway.
Apart from the usual stuff..
"ranging from covertly attempting to persuade consumers that they are ill to bribing doctors and misrepresenting the results of safety and efficacy tests on their products."
.. we also learn that "drug companies spend twice as much on marketing as on research - $60bn last year (£33bn)".
If that's not depressing I don't no what is.
Added by Paul 27 June 2006 07:58
The Scots that is.
Anyway. Andrew Murray, brillo head and Britains Tennis Loser elect, has declared that he'll be supporting 'anyone but England' in the World Cup.
Would it be too much to ask the English tennis fans to return the favour? Silence every time he wins a point. Rapturous applause every time lose a point.
Added by Paul 27 June 2006 08:02
I haven't tried it yet.
But surely 2Gb of free remote backup space it too good to refuse?
Added by Paul 27 June 2006 21:55
Who needs Photoshop?
Added by stones 28 June 2006 14:25
Yes, the moment you've all been waiting for is here.
The site for all your vinyl classics is now live.
Added by Paul 28 June 2006 15:25
Exciting-ish. First new Microsoft mouse pointers in about a decade.
Click the link named "lagt de opp her", unzip and follow instructions.