www.paulnixon.org

Bono

I don't know why but I've never liked Bono for reasons that I could not explain. Call it my third eye or sixth sense. Ha.

Anyway, he's a tax avoiding scumbag. According to this article on Slate.

"Bono, the rock star and campaigner against Third World debt, is asking the Irish government to contribute more to Africa. At the same time, he's reducing tax payments that could help fund that aid."

More Than a Diamond!

A LifeGem is a certified high quality diamond created from the carbon within the ashes of your loved one.

If you desire an everlasting connection to the one you have lost, the LifeGem is right for you. Each LifeGem, as a celebration of life, tells a unique story and represents a new beginning. With the closeness offered only by a LifeGem, you will have your loved one with you and in your life at all times. And of course, as the LifeGem is a one-of-a-kind diamond, it will be a treasured heirloom in your family to be appreciated for generations to come.

Not for me!

Where've All The Gooners Gone

From the famously self-effacing Arsenal captain's program notes last night:

"It doesn't help groaning at the players when there is still an hour or so to go, far from it actually, it can get on top of you.

"Also on Saturday I saw some fans leave early when we were looking for a goal. I just want you to know that the players do notice it.

"So please try and stay until the end."

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

And if the rumours kicking around this morning of them pumping pre-recorded crowd noise into the stadium during the game are true then they truly are the most embarrassing excuse for a football club this country has ever seen!

Plane Seat Covers

This is presumably not a spoof. Though it's hard to tell sometimes...

"Add style, comfort and value to airline travel! PlaneSheetsTM are an innovative and practical way to personalize your travel space. These cozy, machine-washable fabric seat covers fit securely over the headrest, allowing easy seat belt access. Great designer prints and plush fabrics to choose from. For the traveler wishing to simplify, PlaneSheetsTM also offers an inexpensive, recyclable product that may either be disposed of after the flight or washed and reused, if desired. Add flair to flying with PlaneSheetsTM"

Ha ha. Superb.

Saudi Arabia

What is it about religious countries that seem to make them so vindictive and, frankly, evil?

"A Saudi court has sentenced a gang rape victim to 90 lashes of the whip because she was alone in a car with a man to whom she was not married."

Still, at least the men were also punished. I wonder if they would have been in Iran.

Quake 3

Online! For free! Cool.

xkcd

Most amusing. In a geeky sort of way.

Photosynth

This looks like a geniunely exciting project at Microsoft.

Justice

It might be a little graceless to gloat over something like this, but Ted Haggard is a deeply unpleasant man and to top it off he has been exposed as a liar and a hypocrite. I'm happy

Donald Rumsfeld

Surely not? Shaking hands with Saddam Hussein.

You have to feel sorry for evil dictators. One minute the Americans are supplying you with weapons. The next you're a threat to civilisation itself and they're bombing the shit out of you.

Wenger breaks his silence

Arsene Wenger has broken his silence, after the incident at Upton

Park on Sunday. Looking emotionally drained Wenger, 79, spoke as

Arsenal arrived back in North London

"I was disgusted at the treatment we received at West Ham. Our

players are used to playing in a quiet, respectful atmosphere (Al

Qaeda Stadium) in which we can discuss tactics, compare our nice

gloves, and scream loudly to let the referee know we've been

tackled and need a free kick.

The atmosphere at Upton Park was little short of hostile. The

opposing fans sang, shouted and cheered in a manner we are not used to. Almost all of them stayed for the whole game, too. This was

strange to us; it doesn't happen back at the Al Qaeda Stadium.

In addition, our bag man left the team's glove bag back at

Gonfraburton Grove, meaning that many of our players were playing

with cold hands, and some of them cried.

My dispute with Alan Pardew was over his comments following their

goal. "Did you see that?" he shouted. This was insulting. He must

know that I see NOTHING on the pitch, unless it is a poor decision

against Arsenal. I hope the FA realizes what bad feeling this can

cause at a game and can have Managers and hopefully players banned from celebrating when scoring goals. I was very disappointed to see him celebrate like that, it was almost as if he wanted us to lose.

He did offer to shake my hand at the end but without the gloves my

fingers were tres cold, and I didn't want to move them from under my

armpits.

Chelsea

Groan. Horrid Chelsea.

Another year. Another attempt to discredit a referee.

Is it not enough to have all the money in the world to buy players? Must every decision go for them as well?

Hollywood

Aha!

Finally. Proof that wags occasionally change the hollywood sign; for example to 'ollywood' during the Iran crisis in 1987.

This settles an old argument finally :-).

Wii

Maybe, finally, it's time to get into gaming again.

I can't be the only person not inspired by the same old games with a few more polygons.

Though I wonder why they gave the console a geordie name?

Backside firework prank backfires

Hooray - a story involving a bumhole!

The world is a safer place

Or at least Tony told us would be after his ill advised escapade in Iraq.

As predictable as the non-existence of the WMD, the world and, specifically the UK, is quite clearly a more dangerous place.

Tony Blair has a lot of blood on his hands. And there's plenty more to follow I think.

Onion

Fantastic article from the Onion from Jan 17, 2001.

Top comedy.

During the 40-minute speech, Bush also promised to bring an end to the severe war drought that plagued the nation under Clinton, assuring citizens that the U.S. will engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years.

"You better believe we're going to mix it up with somebody at some point during my administration," said Bush, who plans a 250 percent boost in military spending. "Unlike my predecessor, I am fully committed to putting soldiers in battle situations. Otherwise, what is the point of even having a military?"

Good Blog

Some chap called Andrew Rilstone.

Here's a quality entry to his blog, entitled News Priorities.

The Guardian:

Endgame for a dictator: Saddam sentence to hang

The Daily Telegraph:

Saddam death sentence sparks dancing on the streets of Bagadad

The Times:

"A final snarl, then he swaggered out."

Financial Times:

Saddam Hussien sentenced to hang

Daily Mail:

Defiance of the Tyrant

The Daily Mirror:

Saddamned To Hell!

The Sun:

Hang to rights!

The Daily Express:

Spies Cover Up Diana 'Murder'

I'm not sure which is worse. The Sun or the Express. I suppose at least The Sun got the right story. Does anybody really read the Express any more?

The Treadmill Bike

"When the weather's nice, the last place you want to be is cooped up in some stuffy gym. Imagine running through evergreen forests or strolling down country roads. All of this is possible thanks to the rugged design and all terrain tires on the revolutionary Treadmill Bike. "

I'm trying to figure out if this is a wind-up or not.

Quality Image

A highly amusing bit of photoshop work by me on a Friday lunchtime.

Do you think I could get away with uploading this on to a client's site?

Wanker

Ha. I knew I'd seen this gag somewhere.

And there it was on my genius-of-a-sister-in-law's flickr page.

Another fine article

by AC Grayling. Must read stuff.

Here we go...

Brace yourself for further lunatic assaults on science from christians.

It was only a matter of time before geologists would come under fire in the same way the biologists have over evolution.

The reason - all of the collected evidence suggests the age of the planet is roughly 4.5 billions years old. The best estimate from the bible is about 6000 years. I wonder which is more likely to be accurate.

Surely astromers must be next. Heathens. Don't they know the stars are where people have poked through to look down from heaven?

The Last Debate

An interesting bit of trouble I've got myself into with some intelligent christians.

Never post pics of your desktop

4th post down

Bono..

.. is in the news again.

This time the self-styled saviour of Africa in back in court talking the serious issue of a missing hat.

I think a collective sigh of relief is in order. He's got it back.

Incompent Burglar

Worth watching all the way through :)

Chelsea

Back on the charm offensive I see. No time to comment, however..

"Police are investigating several death threats against Reading players Ibrahima Sonko and Stephen Hunt following the club's recent Premiership match with Chelsea.

The pair were involved in the incidents which saw Chelsea goalkeepers Petr Cech and Carlo Cudicini hospitalised during the Royals' 1-0 Madejski Stadium defeat last month.

According to the Reading Chronicle newspaper, one letter said: "We are going to kill you for what you did to our players." The first letter was treated as a joke and pinned up on the door of Reading's training-ground dressing room, but the arrival of subsequent letters saw the police called in to investigate."

Oh dear.

Family Values

In a summary of the reviews of the Sound of Music.

"Its decent, wholesome values, its celebration of the family, its unembarrassed portrayal of devout Christian faith and its vision of good outwitting the evil of fascism all seem exceptionally welcome in these troubled, cynical times. "

From the Daily Telegraph. Wonderful stuff.

So, so, wrong

Funny though

Fundamentalist Christians

Top 100 quotes.

From the absurd

"No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims."

To the clearest case of denial

"I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!"

To the racist

""Muds trying to get out and infect the rest of my White World occurred last night. An entire family of lowland gorillas attended Saturday night services at the Methodist Church my wife and I attend. I toyed with the idea of confronting them with, [speaking to the dad] "look around, you're the only of your kind here, surely there are black churches in DC, aren't there? and Speaking as one man in this Church of hundreds, YOU AND YOUR MUD FAMILY ARE NOT WELCOME HERE, GO HOME!!"

To the inane

"There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least."

And finally...

"I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie"

Asteroids

I may have linked this before.

Either way, it's a quality copy of the old 80's arcade game Asteroids.

Unbelievable

Not so much the youths going on the rampage, but father Jack Madden was thankful to god no-one was hurt. Hasn't this man heard of Richard Dawkins?

Durex Sex Toy Ad

From the Daily Mail.

The story; the first sex toy commercial is to be shown on TV after 11pm on Channel 4/5.

Nothing particularly remarkable about that is my view. However, the readers comments spice up the piece. Here's what Paul O'Rourke from Rochester has to say

"And just after they banned junk food on tv, their priorities beggar belief."

He's been reading the Daily Mail a bit too long I think. Let me see. A worrying and growing amount of children and teenages are obese and the problem is getting worse - indeed, they could be the first generation that die before their parents. The banning of junk food adverts during childrens TV programs seems a laudable and sensible move.

On the other hand. Showing an advert that is, a best, risque, to consenting adults doesn't seem to me to be that harmful. I wonder what our poor Mr O'Rourke is so scared of?

MSPaint Porn

Some comic. Some tragic. Some weird. All brilliant.

Reason #38

.. to hate Welsh hunchback, Craig Bellamy.

"Premiership footballer Craig Bellamy grabbed a woman by the throat after they bumped into each other at a nightclub, a court heard today."

Bumper Nuts

Hmm.

"In my mind a big ass truck is not complete without a nice set of

BUMPER NUTS hanging off the hitch."

Quite!

Relative cost of liquids

A surprising result I think.

Maybe the pikey refills are justified after all.

Richard Dawkins

Fantastic video of Richard Dawkins taking questions in Lynchburg in the States.

If you have 70 minutes spare :-).

Tony Liar Comes Clean

Finally..

"Tony Blair is to make a historic statement condemning Britain's role ... as a 'crime against humanity' and expressing 'deep sorrow' that it ever happened."

"'It is hard to believe that what would now be a crime against humanity was legal at the time,' the Prime Minister will say. "

".. how we condemn its existence utterly and praise those who fought for its abolition"

"Blair was praised last night for breaking decades of official silence to acknowledge the grievance and resentment still felt by many"

Faith Schools

I don't understand faith schools - I can not see a single advantage to balance out the considerable evil that I consider them to be.

"Dozens of schools are using creationist teaching materials condemned by the government as "not appropriate to support the science curriculum", the Guardian has learned."

I don't understand creationists - you would think that rather than peddle half-baked ideas they would invest some of their not inconsiderable energies and financial resources trying to prove their case.

Or rather I do understand creationists. They surely know that they don't have a bloody leg to stand on so they merely fight a PR battle to win over the gullible and the incurious.

And before you know it you create a society where it's unremarkable that your president says that he discusses policy with god.

Top 20 Things Programmers Say To Testers

I've been guilty of a good few of these!

20. "That's weird..."

19. "It's never done that before."

18. "It worked yesterday."

17. "How is that possible?"

16. "It must be a hardware problem."

15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"

14. "There is something funky in your data."

13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"

12. "You must have the wrong version."

11. "It's just some unlucky coincidence."

10. "I can't test everything!"

9. "THIS can't be the source of THAT."

8. "It works, but it hasn't been tested."

7. "Somebody must have changed my code."

6. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"

5. "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?

4. "You can't use that version on your system."

3. "Why do you want to do it that way?"

2. "Where were you when the program blew up?"

1. "It works on my machine"

CNBD

Genius. Celebrity Nude Database.

A review of Patsy Kensit in "The One and Only" for example

Patsy's big(ger) tits finally on display!

In this indie brit flick (made in 2002) Patsy finally flashes us her 'new' big tits. About 30 mins into the film she has a one night stand with a guy she's just picked up in Asda (takes it doggy style, etc) when she sits up in bed we get a nice look at her big juicy melons.

No pictures alas.

Russia Agrees To US Request To Shut Down AllofMP3.

Shame.

Damn those pesky yanks

Stefan Maierhofer

Look at his neck!!!

Annoy-a-Tron

"The ThinkGeek Annoy-a-tron would be useless against an army of Snowbots, but it's very effective at disturbing that guy in the sales department or your "friend" down the hall. With its thin design and embedded magnet for easy hiding, the Annoy-a-tron can be placed in a variety of locations. Select one of the three sound choices (2 kHz, 12 kHz, or alternating) and push the switch to the on position. Place it in a proper hiding spot and let the "fun" begin."

and...

"Your unsuspecting target will have a hard time 'timing' the location of the sound because the beeps will vary in intervals ranging from 2 to 8 minutes. The 2kHz sound is generically annoying enough, but if you really really want to aggravate somebody, select the 12 kHz sound. Trust us. The higher frequency and slight 'electronic noise' built into that soundbyte will make a full-grown Admin wonder where his packets are."

Class.

The Case Against Faith

Jeez. Even I think I've turned into a one trick pony.

Anyway. This Sam Harris sounds like me kind of fella.

".. more than half the American population believes that the entire cosmos was created 6,000 years ago. This is, incidentally, about a thousand years after the Sumerians invented glue.

Those with the power to elect presidents and congressmen???and many who themselves get elected???believe that dinosaurs lived two by two upon Noah's Ark, that light from distant galaxies was created en route to the Earth and that the first members of our species were fashioned out of dirt and divine breath, in a garden with a talking snake, by the hand of an invisible God."

He goes on...

"But add to this comedy of false certainties the fact that 44 percent of Americans are confident that Jesus will return to Earth sometime in the next 50 years.."

He's very good

"One of the worst things about religion is that it tends to separate questions of right and wrong from the living reality of human and animal suffering. Consequently, religious people will devote immense energy to so-called moral problems???such as gay marriage???where no real suffering is at issue, and they will happily contribute to the surplus of human misery if it serves their religious beliefs."

Portforward

Ever had trouble configuring your router. I have. Christ.

Anyway, this website may help. Choose the application, choose your router and, bingo, help is at hand.

Black & White

following my comments in the threads relating to religion and portforwarding (!), i wanted to add that your entrenched views remind me of a quote from The Kite Runner:

"The problem, of course, was that Baba saw the world in black and white. And he got to decide what was black and what was white. You can't love a person who lives that way without fearing him too. Maybe even hating him a little."