www.paulnixon.org

Greatest headline ever

Hooray for our Scottish chums in these troubled times

2 classic headlines in one day

is it a record?

Sean Connery

The original link I followed was 'Sean Connery - as you've never seen him before'. I was expecting a picture of him in Scotland.

Heliocentricity

Ignorance in the US according to an article in the New York Times

"American adults in general do not understand what molecules are (other than that they are really small). Fewer than a third can identify DNA as a key to heredity. Only about 10 percent know what radiation is. One adult American in five thinks the Sun revolves around the Earth, an idea science had abandoned by the 17th century."

ONE ADULT IN FIVE THINKS THE SUN REVOLVES AROUND THE EARTH

God exists..

.. err. Actually no.

A Ukranian man lowered himself into a lion's cage shouting 'God will save me, if he exists'.

Does God exist? Err..

"A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."

How many more times? God does not exist. There is not a single scrap of evidence. If there was, we'd all believe wouldn't we?

Charles Kennedy

"Former Liberal Democrat leader Charles Kennedy has been 'spoken to' by police for smoking on a train."

I presume 'spoken to' is as it sounds, not a euphemism for some new disgusting Lib Dem filth to obscene to discuss on a family blog.

"They were told he was smoking on board and 'refusing to stop', believing it was fine to smoke out of the window."

Ha. Nice teenager argument.

On the sliiiiiiiide

William Gallas has issued a thinly veiled attack on his Arsenal paymasters, with the French defender having been outspoken in his criticism of the club's buying and selling policy, along with what he perceives to be a lack of ambition.

"I am not at Arsenal to play for third place. "

You'll be lucky mate

Play online pool for cash

A genius idea I think.

And if you could get good at it, a highly enjoyable way to make some cash.

I'll download it tonight and have a bash.

Religious Adherence

In America.

Fantastic Advert

light graffiti

Hard to explain, but look a the pics.

Creationist Cartoon

Most amusing.

Corrupt Politicians

"The former head of China's State Food and Drug Administration, Zheng Xiaoyu, has been executed for corruption, the state-run Xinhua news agency reports."

There are some laws we should maybe import..

Petrol Consumption

Somewhat damning...

Dan Dennett

.. is a very clever philosopher. He's a great lecture by him for TED.

192 Villas

.. goes live.

Richard Littlejohn

Phnarr. The Daily Mail's star columnist.

In the 12 months to August 2003, Hyde noted that Littlejohn had referred "24 times to gays, 17 to homosexuals, 15 to cottaging, seven to rent boys, six to lesbians, six times to being 'homophobic' and four times to 'homophobia' (note Richard's scornful inverted commas), twice to poofery and once to buggery. That's a mere 82 mentions in 90-odd columns."

The man's obsessed.

Hitler's Sheffield United Relegated

Not sure how to describe this really, but it made me laugh.

A lot.

Top 100 religious madness quotes

With beauties such as:

"AIDS is caused by immoral behavior, not by a virus."

"How can anyone beleive we evolved from monkeys heres a few questions for people who beleive that

1.If we did evolve from monkeys then how come babies arent born monkeys

2.Even Darwin said his theories were wrong before he died so why do you still believe them

3.do you really not believe the bible it says we were created in seven days not millions of years

4.how come we cant speak monkey?"

Super bling

"The Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics has announced the discovery of a mass of crystallized carbon formerly known as star BPM 37093, now known as the biggest diamond in the galaxy, fifty light years away from Earth in the constellation Centaurus. The diamond is estimated to be 2,500 miles across and weighs approximately 10 billion-trillion-trillion-carats"

Human Tetris

Those crazy Japanese.

This clip actually gets better as it goes on as well.

God's Judgement

Ah. We've seen something like this before.

I can't decide on my favourite. However, it has to be among Sports Nuts, Rebellious Women or Money Lovers.

Ben Goldacre

Anyone in any doubt that Ben Goldacre is the man should read this article!

Boris Johnson

for mayor I say.

a) he might do something for cyclists in the city

and, more importantly,

b) teach the self-loathing, pompous, self-righteous, tedious lefty idealogues here a lesson

Mark Blundell

This F1 season is clearly not the same, despite the best, and estimable, efforts of Master Hamilton.

However, without Michael on the track and Jim in the studio, we're left scrapping around for entertainment.

Step up, Mark Blundell. Man of the people. Providing a good Private Eye or two's Colemanballs every couple of minutes. Some classics for 2007

"It's as hot as what I've felt it here before."

""To be fair to Massa, Steve, he had durability problems over the qualifying. He achieved a great result compared to what was out there traffic-wise."

"He's got a lot to pull out of the bag what we have seen before."

Yes. It *is* nonsense. Yes, it's as if ITV have been flying Zammo from Grange Hill round the world to talk about motor racing. But.., you do know what he means, he knows his racing and he is a geezer.

Simon Singh

Have you ever seen to many gold stars?

If you haven't read Fermat's Last Theorem or The Code Book then, well, shame on you!

PS Big Bang is not quite in the same league.

Murray Walker

Another fine fellow much missed from F1. Also criticised in his day, but quite wrongly in my opinion.

Having said that.. some quotes

"..and Damon Hill is following Damon Hill"

"Mansell is slowing it down, taking it easy. Oh no he isn't! It's a lap record."

"Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th"

"If I was Michael Schumacher.... which of course I am not..."

"And we have had 5 races so far this year, Brazil, Argentina, Imola, Schumacher and Monaco!"

Politicians and Pot

I find politician's being hounded by the media about pot-smoking they may or may not have done several decades before rather odd. Does anyone really think it's important apart from the Daily Mail?

It's akin to politician's being forced to admit that they took a piss in the sea as a kid.

Here's Jacqui Smith

"I was wrong... weeing in the sea is wrong... I want to focus on what I can do in the future, not what I did 25 years ago"

Asperger's

Without wishing to trivialise geniune sufferer's plights, I imagine most men have shades of asperger's; not least myself.

So taking this test I was pretty pleased to come out as low as 'Average Male Scientist'.

Sickipedia

A great source for jokes

It's a bit early...

but this would make a great Xmas present for a certain someone:

Anagram Genius

"Sweaty Fart" is an anagram for Stewart Fay. Made me laugh anyway

Religious Enlightenment

Ah, the joys of religious belief.

"A series of secret prison recordings showed that Banaz Mahmod???s killers had laughed as they raped and tortured her, before Mohamad Hama, a hired thug, stamped on her neck while strangling her with a ligature to 'force out her soul'."

"For two hours Miss Mahmod, 20, endured the ritualistic ???honour killing??? at the hands of a gang hired by her father, Mahmod Mahmod, 52, and uncle Ari Mahmod, 50. "

Her crime?

"she had begun a relationship with someone of whom they did not approve."

Evil

There is something very wrong with this..

Tribute to Frank

Olden but most definately golden.

RIP Frank

Lookie Not Very Much Likies

Always love these.

Apparently, the BEST CELEBRITY LOOKALIKES IN THE WORLD.

Check out Damon Hill, Lara Croft and David Beckham (Mathew Middleton!) for some classics.

CAA ends regulation of air fares following report

Not the most exciting of stories, but I did notice the CAA's group director of economic regulation is a certain Dr Harry Bush. Poor fella, he must have been bullied all his life

Corsica

Just back from a break in Corsica. Fantastic island and a great place for a week or two away.