www.paulnixon.org

Noel Gallagher

Added by Paul 08 March 2009 21:01

Is a funny bloke. The Guardian has featured him in their 'Did I say that' column.

On Will Young

He's in the Guinness Book of Records. But so what? So is a bloke who jumps off the Eiffel Tower and lands in a tea cup

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Creationist 'science'

Added by Paul 08 March 2009 21:23

Phnar.

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Erotic Falconry

Added by Dave 15 March 2009 21:10

It does what it says on the tin

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If you like it so much!

Added by Paul 16 March 2009 20:29

If you like it so much, why don't you go live there.com.

Bit of a mouthful, but looks like a very promising site essentially mocking the idiots that post stupid, racist, or otherwise ignorant comments on websites that permit feedback.

For some reason there's a big chunk of the population (yes, that's you Mail readers!) that seem to believe that everything bad in the world is some kind of pinkie-commie-bbc-left-you couldn't make it up-conspiracy.

Anyway, a sample...

Sir,

If you have young children it cannot escape your notice just how blatantly the BBC constantly push and promote multiculturalism to our receptive young.

With this in mind imagine my surprise when I sat down with my Son a few evenings ago to watch some of “The Bedtime Hour” on Cbeebies only to see two white presenters, one male and one female. The huge overrepresentation of Blacks and Asians on Children’s BBC programmes is already well documented so I was even more surprised that the lack of an “ethnic” presenter was not compensated for in another way as neither of the presenters was obviously homosexual.

This evening I noticed that the female presenter only has one arm. They can’t help themselves.

Yours faithfully

J.Davis

Portsmouth

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60ft penis

Added by Paul 25 March 2009 21:13

Genius.

An 18-year-old has secretly painted a 60ft drawing of a phallus on the roof of his parents' £1million mansion in Berkshire. It was there for a year before his parents found out. They say he'll have to scrub it off when he gets back from travelling.

Actually I think he should do some pubes and 3 bits of jizz when he gets back from travelling!

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Brown bashing

Added by Andy 25 March 2009 22:40

If you haven't seen it already, an excellent and articulate verbal tirade on Gordan Brown by Daniel Hannan...

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What's the fucking point of "God" then?

Added by JamesN 26 March 2009 12:05

God cannot be expected to step in and save us from climate change.

Given "He", even from my ignorant standpoint, is supposed to be "all powerful", I think he is being a bit tight.

We all make mistakes, can believers really expect no salvation from this evil, evil idiot?

Is "He" just going to kick back and enjoy the spectacle of humanity is "choked, drowned, or starved by its own stupidity." What an arsehole.

Rowan Walliams, what an idiot. For someone with the title "Dr", he really does talk a terrible load of shit.

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Google Docs

Added by Paul 27 March 2009 21:31

Google Docs has nearly come of age I think.

We've been trialling it for word processing documents and spreadsheets and, by and large, it has worked very well.

On the plus side

It's great to be able to share documents with colleagues and customers, brilliant that you can work on the same documents at the same time and most of the functionality that I actually use in MS Office is available. Being able to access a document from anywhere with an internet connection is awesome.

There are a few negatives.

Bugs, bugs, bugs. Renaming files is a nightmare. The service is also a little unreliable. The word processor is much more basic than the spreadsheet. Logins - google needs a unified login like MS Passport. I've ended up with a different login for gmail, docs, adwords. Maybe this is my fault, maybe not.

On balance, the service can only get better I think. We've also taken advantage of the 'sites' functionality which enables you to set up your own 'wiki' which is very handy. We've used it for our induction.

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F1

Added by Paul 28 March 2009 14:57

F1 is back! I'm much more of a casual fan now living legend Michael Schumacher has retired.

However, it's hard not to get excited about the coverage returning 'home'; ie back to the BBC.

I've just watched the coverage and have a few observations...

1. Jake Humphrey much > Steve Rider

2. No James Allen. Hooray! Seriously hooray!

3. Yay, Martin Brundle on the team

4. Ted Kravitz in the pits. Ted Kravitz is the pits. He must have sucked a good deal of cock.

5. Ross Brawn has his own team! Does he really personally have more money than Honda?

6. I like Ross Brawn a lot and wish him well... but what a driver line-up?

7. Why are they racing in last years Formula Ford cars? Dreadful front and rear wings.

8. Sebastien Vettel is a legend and is > Mark Webber and probably just about everyone else.

9. Sebastien Vettel = new Michael Schumacher I think/hope.

10. Let us all pray that Button does not win tomorrow. Anyone but Button.

11. DC as a pundit. OK.

12. Eddie Jordan. Not for me.

13. Surprised at my positive reaction to seeing Richard Branson. Even though he looks, well, sort of bullish (I mean physically rather than merely optimistic)

14. Amazed how much the new regs have shaken up the grid. Who can remember an exciting first qualifying session?

Tim Jessey on 29 March 2009 09:14

Great result for Button, Barrichello and Brawn. Fantastic! I am so pleased for Hamilton too starting from the back and getting fourth. It was good to see Vettel completely lose it too as many say is like Schumacher (e.g. incredibly boring and bad for the sport). Hopefully he will not follow in those dreadful foot steps. It is amazing how everyone says that F1 has become so much more exciting since the great yawn retired.

JamesN on 29 March 2009 13:21

Ha ha, that is a dangerously provocative comment at such a low point in Formula 1 history :o) I wish Ross Brawn well but never have I been so torn in my loyalty. An unbelievable achievement all the same. Shame about Kubica and Vettel. I thought Kubica was the guiltier of the two, despite Vettel rather decently apologising. Australia is a notoriously inaccurate acid test - lets hope so. Still, no James Allen, its not all bad. Guess he was at home, weeping....

Simon Jessey on 29 March 2009 14:27

Agreed that the Brawn GP 1-2 was superb, and Hamilton ended up in third thanks to Trulli passing him behind the safety car. Nil point for the Italian scumsuckers.

Here in the US, we get Steve Matchett and David Hobbs doing the TV, along with some halfway decent American dude for a commentary team. They are pretty good, but suffer from having to do the commentary in a NYC studio from the world feed, and naturally we get 3½-minute commercial breaks 5 or 6 times per hour.

JamesN on 29 March 2009 14:37

Steve Matchett is a dude. Now we're back on the BBC, no breaks and The Chain is back. I'm not normally one for sentimental nostalgia, or thrashing guitar music, but it remains synonymous with the sport. And, no James Allen. Or Princess Di-alike Steve Ryder. No longer am I forced to visualise the two of them almost literally fighting to get their tongues into Hamilton's anus. Mark Blundell is sorely missed though. There ain't much in the way of humour going on. Oh for the days of Jim Rosenthal and Blundell.

Tim Jessey on 29 March 2009 16:31

I thought you would enjoy my loaded comments. Out here we get some Star Sports dudes who always bang on about Force India and Nakajima (guess where this lot broadcast to). It is nice to hear a different perspective although they did get really excited when Brawn got their one two. I enjoyed the race, especailly Kubica and Vettel taking each other out. I hope the rest of the season proves to be as exciting as last season.

Paul on 30 March 2009 20:18

Almost made it to the end of the race before tiredness got the better of me. F1 races are too long.

Ross Brawn's team winning is like finding a £50 note. Jenson button winning is like losing £50 and then getting raped in the arse - the net effect (hopefully obviously) is negative.

It's the most mixed up grid and race I've seen in a while so there is clearly promise. I just hope that Vettel conquers all and that the 'chest of drawers without the drawers' rear-wings get banned on the grounds of safety or something.

Simon Jessey on 31 March 2009 17:26

I still think it was a very exciting race (as if the final race last season wasn't exciting enough) and it probably shows that the rule changes were a good idea.

Incidentally, Lewis Hamilton is very popular in the USA because this is the time of Tiger Woods and Barack Obama. It's cool to be at least half black, apparently.

It is also fair to say the Hamilton drove his nuts off for those points, even if he was essentially gifted some of them by Vettel trying to best the mediocre polish chap.

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Animal Research

Added by Paul 30 March 2009 19:42

Don't worry if you can't read the small print - you get the idea :-).

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Prince Charles

Added by Paul 30 March 2009 20:13

At risking of sounding a bit Heat magazine, he's not aged well has he? Whilst for many others 60 is the new 40 (Rach's dad is a great example), poor old Charles, despite the advantages afforded to him by birth, looks much older than his years - though not maybe his wife interestingly.

I would like to think it's some sort of punishment for his consistently irritating new-age, alt-med, hocus pocus beliefs. Like most men as they get older, they become increasingly convinced that they are right as the actual accuracy of their beliefs has gone into a proportional decline.

The views of most old men get rightly taken with a pinch of salt - James Lovelock is a notable and worthy exception to this rule - but the press serve up any old bullshit that comes out of Charles' mouth.

Anyway, here's what Professor Michael Baum had to say about science trumping royal intuition

"The power of my authority comes with a knowledge built on 40 years of study and 25 years of active involvement in cancer research. Your power and authority rest on an accident of birth."